1 00:00:06,030 --> 00:00:07,030 Nice surprise. 2 00:00:07,270 --> 00:00:09,910 What happened, Kev? Did you get kicked out of your apartment? 3 00:00:10,370 --> 00:00:14,510 No, I just thought I'd move in for a while. I kind of miss you guys. 4 00:00:15,610 --> 00:00:20,490 And anyway, my apartment doesn't allow pets. 5 00:00:20,830 --> 00:00:22,150 What? Hey, Kevin. 6 00:00:22,730 --> 00:00:24,230 Here's Mr. Whiskers. Who? 7 00:00:24,730 --> 00:00:26,850 Oh, Mom, this is my friend Ginger. Hi. 8 00:00:27,670 --> 00:00:31,730 Ginger is leaving town for a few days, so I promised her I'd help take care of 9 00:00:31,730 --> 00:00:32,309 her cat. 10 00:00:32,310 --> 00:00:34,730 I got a grant to study in Malibu. 11 00:00:38,990 --> 00:00:43,930 get going, so just remember to feed him and to love him, and Mr. Whiskers will 12 00:00:43,930 --> 00:00:48,210 love you right back, just like he loves his mommy. Is he real? 13 00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:52,430 Oh, don't worry. I'll take real good care of him. I promise. Thanks. 14 00:00:53,170 --> 00:00:57,690 And, um, I promise to take care of you, too, just as soon as I get back. 15 00:01:00,110 --> 00:01:01,110 Mr. 16 00:01:05,090 --> 00:01:09,280 Whiskers? I think this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship. 17 00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:15,980 That's it. I quit. 18 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:17,240 What's the matter? 19 00:01:17,540 --> 00:01:20,020 The station manager called me into his office today. 20 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:21,800 Tells me I gotta lose weight. 21 00:01:22,700 --> 00:01:25,400 Why? I mean, you're not that fat. 22 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:29,980 Yeah, and besides, when you're on TV, you get to hide your stomach behind that 23 00:01:29,980 --> 00:01:30,980 big desk. 24 00:01:32,320 --> 00:01:33,420 Yeah, well, not anymore. 25 00:01:34,350 --> 00:01:36,690 They wanted to make the 6 o 'clock report less formal. 26 00:01:37,010 --> 00:01:40,110 So now they're making the whole news team sit behind the stupid coffee table. 27 00:01:40,930 --> 00:01:43,310 Skip told Tammy my gut looked like the centerpiece. 28 00:01:44,790 --> 00:01:46,690 Well, at least you got to take it home. 29 00:01:47,330 --> 00:01:49,170 I haven't put on that much weight, have I? 30 00:01:49,670 --> 00:01:53,290 Gee, I don't know, Dad. I mean, remember the last time we all went to the park 31 00:01:53,290 --> 00:01:55,710 when Mr. Belvedere went on the sea sauna and stayed even? 32 00:01:57,550 --> 00:02:00,670 Come on, honey, it's no big deal. We'll just put you on a little diet. 33 00:02:00,890 --> 00:02:02,870 I could lose 15 pounds in 10 days. 34 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,100 Or we can wire your mouth shut. 35 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:07,439 Don't bother. 36 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:09,000 The station already made arrangements. 37 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:12,880 They're sending me to some place called Pleasant Valley Ranch and Spa. 38 00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:16,200 Some fancy fat farm up in the Poconos. 39 00:02:17,700 --> 00:02:19,840 Honey, these reservations are for the two of us. 40 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:21,880 Yeah, well, I want you to keep me company. 41 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:25,940 Oh, George, I'd love to, but I can't go on such short notice. I have court. 42 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:30,140 Huh? Well, I can't go to this flab fest all by myself. 43 00:02:31,660 --> 00:02:33,280 I mean, someone's got to go with me, right? 44 00:02:34,700 --> 00:02:35,700 I'm back. 45 00:03:01,340 --> 00:03:08,240 No one glad According to our new rival Life is more than their 46 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:12,700 survival And we just might live a good life yet 47 00:03:12,700 --> 00:03:16,280 It's sizzling hot. 48 00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:22,920 Uh -huh. 49 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:25,420 Now this looks like fun. 50 00:03:27,220 --> 00:03:29,420 Looks like mating season at SeaWorld. 51 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:35,940 here for the next ten days. 52 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:39,440 Try not to alienate everyone in the first ten seconds. 53 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:42,260 Why not? They look pretty thick -skinned. 54 00:03:44,260 --> 00:03:46,400 Come on in, fellas. 55 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:48,040 Don't be bashful. 56 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:49,480 Hi. Hi. 57 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:52,500 My name's Bebe. Can you guess what that stands for? 58 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:54,640 Big buns? 59 00:03:57,100 --> 00:04:00,020 Actually, I was going to guess Brigitte Bardot. 60 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:02,940 Oh, no, silly. 61 00:04:03,630 --> 00:04:07,390 My name's Betsy Baxter, but my best friends call me Bebe. 62 00:04:07,610 --> 00:04:11,030 You know, like in the gun. 63 00:04:13,990 --> 00:04:15,550 Okay, everybody line up, please. 64 00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:17,390 Three lines. 65 00:04:20,170 --> 00:04:24,950 Hi, my name's Roy Gallagher. Hi, Roy. And on behalf of myself and everyone 66 00:04:24,950 --> 00:04:27,590 at Pleasant Valley Ranch and Spa, I bid you all welcome. Thank you. 67 00:04:28,070 --> 00:04:31,550 Now, I feel certain that most of you must have read about our various 68 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:37,500 Our facial massages, the tanning salons, quiet moments, sipping fruit smoothies 69 00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:38,520 in a hot tub at sunset. 70 00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:39,840 That's where I came. 71 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:41,980 Well, forget about it, Petunia. 72 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:45,540 You ain't doing diddly, not until you lose a few tons. 73 00:04:46,380 --> 00:04:50,040 And that goes for each and every one of you low -life, jelly -bellied lard 74 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,040 buckets. 75 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:54,360 You got a problem, soldier? 76 00:04:54,620 --> 00:04:57,160 Didn't the brew show mention something about refreshments? 77 00:04:57,730 --> 00:05:01,570 Okay, wise guy, hit the deck and give me 20. I would, but I left my wallet in 78 00:05:01,570 --> 00:05:02,570 the car. 79 00:05:04,490 --> 00:05:06,530 I said get down there! 80 00:05:10,910 --> 00:05:13,070 You find this all pretty funny, huh, Porky? 81 00:05:13,290 --> 00:05:14,870 Why don't you get down there with him? 82 00:05:15,210 --> 00:05:16,770 Why don't we all join in the fight? 83 00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:41,060 Okay, sweethearts, let's hit it. You got a 10K run in five minutes. 84 00:05:42,580 --> 00:05:44,860 George, you better get up. Go away. 85 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:48,680 George, you're not going to lose any weight lying there like a lump. 86 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:51,840 Fine, then let's take a hike to a house of pancakes. 87 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:57,830 George. I don't like these things that sound like 17 any more than you do. 88 00:05:58,310 --> 00:06:01,090 But since we're here, we might as well make the best of it. 89 00:06:01,330 --> 00:06:02,650 I guess you're right. 90 00:06:04,930 --> 00:06:05,930 You know what I am? 91 00:06:07,130 --> 00:06:08,210 It's a lot of candy. 92 00:06:09,230 --> 00:06:11,310 You know what happens if they catch you with these? 93 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,280 or do something about that beast, young man. 94 00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:21,080 I mean, if it's not in here tearing up the furniture, it's out there killing 95 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:24,560 things. Yeah, poor Grandma Huffnagle still can't find her chihuahua. 96 00:07:25,940 --> 00:07:29,020 I know, I saw Pepe's picture on a carton of milk bones. 97 00:07:30,820 --> 00:07:32,980 All right, look, I'll think of something, I promise. 98 00:07:34,740 --> 00:07:38,800 To the left, and right, and left, and right. 99 00:08:46,060 --> 00:08:47,060 up off my windshield. 100 00:08:47,340 --> 00:08:50,960 Oh, I don't know, George. I found it quite delicious and satisfying. 101 00:08:51,420 --> 00:08:55,780 Come on, big guy. This is me you're talking to. I've seen you eat ding 102 00:08:55,780 --> 00:08:56,780 underwater. 103 00:08:57,640 --> 00:09:01,120 Look, I know this diet isn't easy, but it's as Colonel Gallagher says. 104 00:09:01,420 --> 00:09:06,240 We have to channel our negative food energy into more positive endeavors. 105 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:09,080 Come on, Lynn. We have a day. 106 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:18,360 Believe it, she'll do. 107 00:09:27,060 --> 00:09:28,060 Hey, 108 00:09:29,340 --> 00:09:31,020 big guy, what are you in the mood for? 109 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:32,960 Mushroom or pepperoni? 110 00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,180 God's sake, what are you all doing? 111 00:09:35,420 --> 00:09:36,820 We're having a pizza party. 112 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:41,380 Me and the gang decided that tofu junk just wasn't cutting it, so we ordered us 113 00:09:41,380 --> 00:09:42,380 some real food. 114 00:09:42,460 --> 00:09:45,020 But what about your diets? You're all doing so well. 115 00:09:45,340 --> 00:09:46,340 Oh, come on, Lynn. 116 00:09:46,570 --> 00:09:49,690 one little piece isn't going to hurt you we can work it off later 117 00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:22,810 See, that way Ginger will still think I'm a sensitive feline aficionado. And I 118 00:10:22,810 --> 00:10:24,570 don't have to look at this stupid thing until she gets back. 119 00:11:09,930 --> 00:11:10,930 being levied against you? 120 00:11:11,610 --> 00:11:13,770 No, but I wouldn't mind reversing the charges. 121 00:11:16,210 --> 00:11:21,010 Whereas on the 10th day of October, year of our Lord, 1988, the above charge did 122 00:11:21,010 --> 00:11:23,730 willfully and with complete disregard for the well -being of their fellow 123 00:11:23,730 --> 00:11:28,090 dieters order and consume several large pizza pies on the premises of Pleasant 124 00:11:28,090 --> 00:11:32,290 Valley Ranch and Spa in flagrant violation of Article 319 slash B. 125 00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:37,610 And whereas since the day these jerks got here, they have demonstrated a 126 00:11:37,610 --> 00:11:39,250 unwillingness and or inability. 127 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:43,520 To get with the program, they are hereby banished from Pleasant Valley Ranch and 128 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:44,860 Spa in perpetuity. 129 00:11:45,620 --> 00:11:47,960 This is your shame, Lieutenant. 130 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:00,720 That's awful. 131 00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:15,480 on, big guy. I already apologized. 132 00:12:16,340 --> 00:12:18,520 Don't you big guy me, you pig -nosed delinquent. 133 00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:22,280 I liked it here. 134 00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:25,740 I liked the diet, the discipline, the people. 135 00:12:26,340 --> 00:12:28,480 I felt like Twiggy around these people. 136 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,460 Then you had to go and get us thrown out. 137 00:12:32,620 --> 00:12:34,200 Oh, I don't know what you're so upset about. 138 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,160 I'm the one who's going to get canned if he doesn't lose weight. 139 00:12:37,380 --> 00:12:40,100 You should have thought of that before you called Pinky's Pizza Palace. 140 00:12:44,399 --> 00:12:46,100 You know, dealing with authority. 141 00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:51,540 I mean, the minute somebody tells me what to do, I got to open my big mouth 142 00:12:51,540 --> 00:12:52,540 tell them where to go. 143 00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:57,000 I mean, how am I supposed to tell my kids dad got bounced from a fat farm? 144 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,540 Maybe, maybe you won't have to. 145 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:08,360 Huh? I mean, we're not expected back for five days. 146 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:10,360 There must be something. 147 00:13:18,860 --> 00:13:20,440 Okay, fellas, this here's it. 148 00:13:24,420 --> 00:13:27,040 I told you it weren't no holiday inn. 149 00:13:27,660 --> 00:13:30,200 I'm sure it'll suit our purposes just fine. 150 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:32,860 Okay, you boys know best. 151 00:13:33,260 --> 00:13:38,840 Just remember, once I shove off, there ain't nobody or nothing around here for 152 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:40,000 hundred miles. Perfect. 153 00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:44,120 Hey, just don't forget to come back and get us, okay, pal? I don't want to be 154 00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:45,920 spending the rest of my life up here with him. 155 00:13:47,980 --> 00:13:50,280 I reckon five days would be enough for anybody. 156 00:13:57,220 --> 00:13:59,560 So you still think this is such a great idea? 157 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,400 Oh, it won't be so bad, George. 158 00:14:01,660 --> 00:14:02,660 We'll eat right. 159 00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:04,080 We'll get plenty of exercise. 160 00:14:04,460 --> 00:14:08,480 We'll take long walks in the woods. The pounds will simply melt away. 161 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:10,040 You bet. 162 00:14:13,740 --> 00:14:14,840 What's with the ukulele? 163 00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:16,900 We're going to take a... 164 00:14:17,420 --> 00:14:18,420 right, aren't we? 165 00:15:20,750 --> 00:15:22,090 take over our whole house. 166 00:15:22,390 --> 00:15:23,550 It's all Kevin's fault. 167 00:15:23,850 --> 00:15:27,470 He always does stuff like this to impress girls and then he never even 168 00:15:27,470 --> 00:15:28,470 sex out of me. 169 00:15:29,990 --> 00:15:30,990 Wesley. 170 00:15:31,230 --> 00:15:32,230 Well, it's true. 171 00:15:35,250 --> 00:15:37,530 Shh. I think I hear it coming. 172 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,070 Oh, God. I feel like I'm in a diary of Anne Frank. 173 00:15:43,570 --> 00:15:44,830 Hey, what's everybody doing? 174 00:15:55,790 --> 00:15:57,490 Yeah, but one cat couldn't do all that. 175 00:15:57,870 --> 00:15:59,010 He had a party. 176 00:16:02,630 --> 00:16:04,470 So, what are you going to do about it? 177 00:16:05,550 --> 00:16:06,770 Hey, come on, guys. 178 00:16:07,250 --> 00:16:09,170 Give me a break. It's only for a few more days. 179 00:16:11,070 --> 00:16:14,230 It's just a defenseless little pussycat. 180 00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:32,760 so he has urges. 181 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:35,980 But he's still one of God's creatures and I'm not going to do anything to him. 182 00:16:35,980 --> 00:16:36,980 don't care what he did. 183 00:16:37,300 --> 00:16:39,200 He'd shoot up all your Edie Gourmet records. 184 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:44,280 Excuse me. 185 00:17:06,670 --> 00:17:07,509 What'd you make? 186 00:17:07,510 --> 00:17:09,810 I call it gulag gazpacho. 187 00:17:10,310 --> 00:17:13,069 It's a little recipe I picked up in a Siberian labor camp. 188 00:17:15,630 --> 00:17:16,950 Tastes like boiled grass. 189 00:17:17,230 --> 00:17:18,230 It is. 190 00:17:21,349 --> 00:17:22,829 That's it, Dolby. We're history. 191 00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:25,230 I knew we didn't bring enough food. 192 00:17:25,990 --> 00:17:29,830 When Klumka Niddlehopper comes back, all he's going to find is two piles of 193 00:17:29,830 --> 00:17:32,070 bleached bones sitting in a puddle of hoop cheese. 194 00:17:34,350 --> 00:17:35,430 What do you think you're doing? 195 00:17:35,630 --> 00:17:36,630 Bon appetit. 196 00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:38,290 Well, where's mine? 197 00:17:38,610 --> 00:17:40,330 This is my dinner. Go mow your own. 198 00:17:40,610 --> 00:17:41,529 I want yours. 199 00:17:41,530 --> 00:17:42,530 Oh, sure. 200 00:17:42,910 --> 00:17:44,970 The other man's gruel is always greener. 201 00:17:45,810 --> 00:17:48,330 Give me that. That's mine! Mine! Mine! 202 00:17:51,450 --> 00:17:52,990 What's happening to us, Belvedere? 203 00:17:53,310 --> 00:17:55,750 I mean, we're fighting over a cud casserole. 204 00:17:58,810 --> 00:18:00,230 It's the madness, George. 205 00:18:01,270 --> 00:18:03,610 The madness that comes with hunger. 206 00:18:07,310 --> 00:18:08,490 I saw it on a lifeboat once. 207 00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:14,310 Fifteen of us fought for days over a single piece of pez. 208 00:18:16,530 --> 00:18:17,990 So what are we going to do, big guy? 209 00:18:19,330 --> 00:18:20,330 Nothing. 210 00:18:20,970 --> 00:18:24,970 We must simply try and control ourselves and think of something else besides 211 00:18:24,970 --> 00:18:25,970 food. 212 00:18:26,210 --> 00:18:27,990 Yeah, like we could play cards or something. 213 00:18:28,250 --> 00:18:31,310 Or maybe I can find a ball game on the radio over there. Splendid idea. 214 00:18:32,690 --> 00:18:35,290 And remember Pizza Posse. They deliver. 215 00:18:40,890 --> 00:18:41,930 Juicy steak. 216 00:18:44,030 --> 00:18:45,170 This just in. 217 00:18:45,550 --> 00:18:48,930 Survivors of that Peruvian airline crash have just been found in a remote 218 00:18:48,930 --> 00:18:50,070 section of the Andes. 219 00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:55,330 Isolated for several weeks, it's alleged that passengers were forced to resort 220 00:18:55,330 --> 00:18:57,710 to cannibalism in order to sustain themselves. 221 00:18:58,550 --> 00:18:59,670 Now on to sports. 222 00:19:02,870 --> 00:19:06,890 What are you looking at? Nothing. 223 00:19:07,390 --> 00:19:08,470 What are you looking at? 224 00:19:09,430 --> 00:19:10,430 Nothing. 225 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:23,560 Great idea, big guy. 226 00:19:24,740 --> 00:19:27,160 Maybe I can give you a hand, so to speak. 227 00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:09,580 Biscuits. Thought you boys might be hungry. 228 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:11,460 Did you say biscuits? 229 00:20:12,220 --> 00:20:15,060 Yeah. With homemade honey butter. 230 00:20:18,900 --> 00:20:21,320 I think he's real, Belvedere. 231 00:20:54,250 --> 00:20:55,250 Got cute. 232 00:20:55,490 --> 00:20:56,490 Gee, thanks, Kitten. 233 00:20:56,990 --> 00:21:00,130 You know, I really gotta hand it to you two. I didn't think you'd last a day at 234 00:21:00,130 --> 00:21:01,130 that fat farm. 235 00:21:01,990 --> 00:21:04,290 Somebody up there really must know what they're doing. 236 00:21:04,870 --> 00:21:05,890 Yeah, I think so. 237 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:55,560 about him well it's just see somehow his favorite ball got glued 238 00:21:55,560 --> 00:22:01,660 to the middle of the street and he was out there trying to get it and it was 239 00:22:01,660 --> 00:22:03,600 moving van it just came out of nowhere 240 00:22:25,930 --> 00:22:26,930 Took it okay. 241 00:22:32,170 --> 00:22:34,410 Mr. Belvedere will continue in a moment. 242 00:22:38,070 --> 00:22:41,670 At any rate, George and I continue to adhere to our diets. 243 00:22:42,210 --> 00:22:46,890 And I'm proud to say the word ding -dong isn't even in our vocabulary anymore. 244 00:22:48,150 --> 00:22:51,330 George's station is thrilled with the look of their new slimmed -down 245 00:22:51,330 --> 00:22:53,870 sportscaster. And as for me... 246 00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:59,540 I'm happy to report I look simply stunning in my new Brazilian swimming 247 00:22:59,980 --> 00:23:02,460 Of course, that's only my opinion. 248 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:07,640 I wonder what the neighbors... 249 00:23:44,750 --> 00:23:49,670 incredible Sunday, the on -camera murder of a guest leaves the staff scrambling 250 00:23:49,670 --> 00:23:52,310 to cover its own story on Studio 5B. 251 00:23:52,650 --> 00:23:57,310 Then, they're the one and only Dan Aykroyd, Sigourney Weaver, and Bill 252 00:23:57,310 --> 00:24:00,830 star in Ghostbusters on the Sunday Night Movie.